Books by Dmitry Rusov

This book is about the forms in which it does reach them: words, time chosen by both, tokens of memory, help and touch. And about the sixth language — silence, in which two people understand each other without explanation. It cannot be mastered as a separate exercise: it grows out of a long and honest life of the first five.

It is neither a typology nor a compatibility test. People change, and what warmed you yesterday may wound you today.

A separate part is devoted to the shadow side of intimacy. Knowing another person precisely gives not only the chance to love more gently, but also power over them. Where care turns into control, and where “no” stops being possible, is said here plainly.

Each chapter offers practices, the limits of their use, and an honest line between what research supports and what remains the author’s own philosophy.

Childhood hurts do not pass. They set like concrete and become the foundation on which a person builds a whole life: marriage, work, relationships with their own children. This book is about how resentment is handed down from grandmother to mother and from mother to daughter, why boys grow up without a male example, why the wounded become psychologists, and why nobody really wants to be healed. About adults who stay silent for weeks over a trifle, and about old people for whom resentment has become their last power over the family.

No consolation, no advice and no “on the other hand”. A hard authorial stance and a truth that hurts.

One cigarette, one “I kept quiet”, one “they’re all the same” — and years later a person sits in a hospital corridor, in an empty flat or in front of an empty fridge and says: “That’s just how it turned out.” This book is a hard look at how we build our own lives and shift the blame onto husbands, wives, parents and the state. No consolation and no excuses. Only the bill, which will come anyway, and the choice, which is still yours.